Being in college I have noticed a lot of time is spent on trying to "win" the opposite sex. I'm not saying it's wrong because I think it should. It seems like college is the "place to go" to find a spouse, especially Bible college...
The one thing I have a problem with is how this affects self-worth. Maybe it's just me (though I highly doubt that...) but you tend to base how you feel about yourself on how many people like you. Girls feel they absolutely "have" to find that special guy who'll they'll spend the rest of their life with and if they don't have anyone that they must be ugly or deformed or SOMETHING. Maybe the same thing goes for guys, I obviously wouldn't know...
For me, I don't know. I never really felt that my life would incomplete until I was married. I have never entirely thought for sure that I would get married. It's not as if I wouldn't ever get married, it's just that if I end up not getting married I think I would be okay with that.
Whether or not I get married will not diminish my dream of becoming a missionary. As long as God sees fit I want to serve Him on the mission field, husband or no.
Paul says in Philippians 4:11 (my absolute favorite book of the Bible by the way...) that he learned to be content in every state of life. Paul himself had to learn how to be content, so contentment doesn't come naturally as Christians unfortunately.
Dating and marriage are huge instances of learning to be content. There are so many in the world unhappy with their relationships. I believe and I know that God wants us to be content with what we have. I'm sorry to say but that means you can't be jealous of those with "perfect" significant others or want a boyfriend or girlfriend "so bad". I have seen it happen, where someone just wants a bf/gf so bad that they end up settling for someone completely wrong for them. If only they had waited for God's timing...
That brings up another thing I have seen, even in myself. Sometimes the pursuit of a relationship with someone takes up so much of your life and your mind that your realtionship with God weakens and wavers.
Instead of God, in His place is "the perfect spouse", your crush. You think about them all the time, you want to spend every waking moment with them etc...And you don't see that this obsession has hurt your relationship with the only One who will never let you down.
That is one of the reasons I have learned to accept what God has willed. I have gone my way and for the ones I wanted but it only left me with pain in my heart. Instead, I have learned (with extreme help from God) that I need to be content, whether I end up getting married or not. I can't let that get in the way of wanting to serve God with my whole heart.
What I'm trying to say is...I feel our self worth should not simply come b/c we're "in love" with someone or they're in love with us, but instead from God our Heavenly Father and that our relationships with others should NEVER take the place of our Lord.
So for me...though none go with me still I will follow...No turning back
Wow...great post GiGi. Often I have been told by friends who are married, that God didn't bring the right person into their lives until they stopped looking for a relationship, and just rested in God's love and were content there. It's much easier said then done though, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI just continue to pray that God will help me to do this...
Wow, I only just saw this somehow. Thank you for your comment!
ReplyDeleteIt is much easier said than done, but thankful God is limitless in strength and is willing to give to those who ask! :) Personally, I have never really felt that I needed to be married or be in a relationship.
Maybe I read too many stories of single missionaries that I can't see myself being a married one! jk :P
However, the struggle for me is accepting God's will, accepting that I cannot control the future, and then giving all I have to glorify Him.